The Jeanne and I were foster parents from 1998 to 2009. Over that period we helped 45 children of various ages. The children stayed with us anywhere from overnight to many months. We had Ty longer than any other child at twenty-seven months - at which point we adopted him.
As you'd expect, relinquishing the children is the hardest part. We fall in love with them and miss them very much when they've gone. This is mixed with the joy we feel for the children who have found adoptive parents to love them. It is aggravated by the concern we have for the children who are returning to less the ideal situations. We've had some follow-up contact with the parents in some cases, but we don't go out of our way to keep in touch.
We keep this as a historical record of the children we've helped. It's against the law to post pictures of our foster children.
Danny (7/98)
Spencer (1/99-5/99)
Jill (7/99)
Harley/Deryck (10/99)
Victoria (10/99-12/99)
Aaron (1/00-6/00)
Julie (3/00)
Reggie (5/00-11/00)
Ryanne (12/9/00-3/25/01)
Victoria (1/01)
Mary Beth (2/9/01-5/11/01)
Destiny (7/23/01-3/18/02)
Deryck (9/24/01-9/27/01)
Faith (11/4/01-11/9/01)
Jordan (11/13/01-11/29/01)
Cameron (01/24/02-1/28/02)
Khalia (1/31/02-2/08/02)
Ty (Shariff) (02/06/02-5/7/04)
Mickey (05/03/02-5/14/02)
Steven (5/29/02-5/30/02)
Faith (6/5/02-12/12/02)
Krystina (6/14/02-6/17/02)
Dystiny (6/14/02-6/17/02)
Lonnie (Shawn) (7/29/02-10/27/02)
Zaymashia (Mikayla) (01/04/03-09/12/03)
Isaiah (7/29/03-7/30/03)
Brianna (9/16/03-9/11/04)
LaTylea (12/03/03-5/26/04)
Cameron (6/7/04-7/7/04)
Anthony (7/17/04-7/29/04)
Robert (RJ) (8/5/04-09/02/04)
Dillon (Matthew) (09/05/04-06/14/05)
Nayla (10/18/04-11/19/04)
Emily (12/7/04-1/14/05)
Nyree (06/13/05-9/22/05)
Makiya (7/26/05-10/20/05)
Keara (10/28/05-3/17/06)
Jamill (10/28/05-3/17/06)
Serenity (7/5/06-8/2/06)
Rishiaka (8/11/06-03/07/07)
Yusuf (1/26/07-2/23/08)
Isaiah (2/14/08)
Knowledge (4/15/08-07/15/08)
Keegan (12/30/08 - 5/1/09)
Benjamin (3/12/09 - 7/27/09)
Each of our foster children is special, but some really stand out in our memories for one reason or another.
Foster Child |
What we will remember |
| Spencer | Very difficult when he left. We stayed in touch for about a year afterwards. As our first he will always be remembered. |
| Jill | Jill was 6 years old. We took her camping with us. Jill was very eager to please. |
| Harley | "O" face. He didn't like being in the car
and cried at the top of his lungs all the way to the Delaware Valley
football game (1 hour each way). Harley was adopted by a terrific
family and we were able to get to know them a little bit before Harley
joined them. They sent us a family picture on his following
birthday. On 8/14/06, Deryck (Harley) came for a visit. Now eight years old and a terrific kid, he was delighted to meet his foster siblings and delighted us by reproducing the "O" face. Apparently his dislike of car seats that we felt on the trip to the football game had deep roots and involved a lot of work by his new family to resolve. |
| Victoria | Victoria came to us with a broken leg. She had difficulty controlling her eye movements, but had a wonderful smile. |
| Aaron | (June, 2000) Aaron was a real gem. He taught us how to do the Captain Feathersword "Quack Quack" song. He and Gregory were very close and Greg still talks about him and misses him very much. This one will be in our hearts forever. |
| Reggie | Reggie had a tuft of curly hair right on top of his head. He looked a little like Mr. T. Debi really fell in love with Reggie. |
| Faith | Faith was a "premie". She was over a month old when we got her and only weighed 4 pounds! |
| Destiny | Always smiling and a terrific disposition. Destiny was with us for nearly 8 months. She had a smile that could brighten anyone's day - and often did. She got a smile from the most dour of strangers. She went to so many football games that "touchdown" replaced the standard "how big is...so big" routine. She started to learn Captain Feathersword and danced to the Wiggles. What a joy! |
| Ty (Shariff) | Ty (Shariff) came to us when he was 4 days old. He had a cleft palette and required special bottles for feedings. Later, the cleft palette was surgically closed and healed nicely. We often called him "Omar". Aunt Toni fell in love with him, and often came to the house just to spend some time or put him to bed. He has the most beautiful eyes and a bright, easy smile. On July 31, 2003 (our wedding anniversary) we make a decision to move towards adopting Ty. The adoption was official in May of 2004. |
| Faith | Faith
came to us when she was three years old. She looks a lot like
Shirley Temple, with the curly hair, the bright smile, and those wonderful
dimples. Faith returned to her mother. Unfortunately her mother was killed in a police shootout following a robbery. Faith now resides with family and is doing wonderfully. Its been several years now since we had Faith in the house, and it still brings us great joy to remember her. We miss her greatly. |
| Zaymashia | Zia
came to us at three months old. She already had the cutest pierced
ears. A wonderful disposition and easy smile. She's fallen in
love with Ty, and he makes her laugh - great big laughs! She is
the most alert, inquisitive, and strongest baby for her age. Zia was adopted by a wonderful loving extended family. They send us pictures of her a couple times a year. We miss her very much, and we're thrilled that everything is working out so well for her. |
| Yusuf | Yusuf came to us shortly after birth in January 2007, and has been with us to-date. Initially there was concern about sleep apnea, and he wore a monitor for a couple months. As he grew his personality really came out, and he is a real joy to be with. A couple at church have fallen in love with him, even if it is only for one hour a week. Yusuf was adopted by a very loving family and is doing wonderfully |
| Knowledge and Benjamin | We cared for Knowledge in 2008 and Benjamin in 2009. They are half-brothers. Both had the most incredible personalities and intellegence, and brought tremendous joy to our house. Fortunately, both are supported by a terrific, loving, extended family. We were very blessed in meeting and spending some time with the family, and we hope to continue contact. |
There are many agencies looking for willing and capable Foster Parents. Some of these agencies allow and even encourage Foster Parenting as a path towards adoption. Jeanne and I began with St. Joe's, but felt we could help more children through the Lackawanna County Children and Youth agency. We aren't allowed to be Foster Parents for more than one agency simultaneously, but the agencies cooperate with each other, and we've had children from both St. Joe's and Catholic Youth Services through our Lackawanna County arrangement.
Being a Foster Parent is very rewarding. We have so much fun with the children, helping them grow and giving them huge quantities of love. Our other children, some of whom are old enough to have children of the own, are really terrific with the foster children, treating them like brothers and sisters, loving them while learning how to be great parents. What a joy and blessing it is to have these children in our home.
We get paid for being Foster Parents to help offset the cost involved. We don't do this for the money, but getting paid sure helps to cover some of the costs. We make sure the kids are provided with everything they need, and we send all their clothes and their toys with them when the leave. Sometimes we find that the parents are missing some key items, so we also give them car seats, high chairs, or whatever they need to help them and to make sure the children are safe.
I'm always amazed at the lengths some folks go to in order to adopt a child, when the Foster Parent program has such and incredible need for adoptive parents. While there can be risk that the adoption might not work out, our experience is that the county does a great job matching children who are likely to be adopted-out. The costs are minimal involving just the background fees of less than $100. Many folks can't handle the thought that the adoption might fall through, but it seems to me that the cost of adopting from overseas in the $25,000 range would be worth avoiding. There is also a feeling that foster kids are "damaged goods". Nothing could be further from the truth in our experience. Jeanne's sister has also adopted via foster care, and its another happy story there as well.
For more information, contact your local county Children and Youth Services.